#WORK 4

Posted by : Unknown Sabtu, 25 April 2015

Hi, my friends I want to tell you about Top Ittipat a young entrepreneur from Thailand.

He was a successful businessmen. When He was sixteen years old, He really likes played online games and forgot about his school. He knows about business of online gaming. In this games He can sell the weapons and He get a lot of money. But, this is an illegal business so the business doesn't last long. Then, his family has a lot of debt but, his father wanted him to collage. Top knows his father's debt and refused money from his father. Finally, Top can lecture by stealing his father’s amulet. And then, with the rest of the money Top starting a business DVD player. But, He had suffered a loss because it was fake DVD palyer. Next, Top not giving up and trying any other business. He tried selling peanuts with his uncle. When selling peanuts He progress by acquiring many of advantages. The business doesn’t last long because Top get a new problems. Top felt desperate and want to follow his mother to live in China. Here, He is trying to think about marketing strategy and He tried to open a new business that is fried seaweed. Failure always comes but He kept trying to be successful. And finally, a miracle is coming.

Now, He has over 2500 employees, and sent fried seaweed to 27 countries. And it’s revenue reached 1,5 billion bath (450 billion rupiah). With his revenue He can pay all the debts of his father.

"Please correct my task and give some feedback. I know my grammar very terrible. hehe :) but I will always learning to fix my grammar. Thank you"

{ 4 komentar... read them below or Comment }

Sania Anggita25 April 2015 pukul 09.19
Hai En :)
In the sentence "When He was sixteen years old, He really likes played online games and forgot about his school.", "In this games He can sell the weapons and He get a lot of money." , and "But, He had suffered a loss because it was fake DVD palyer." and other sentenses, why do you write "He" with a capital letter?

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Unknown25 April 2015 pukul 17.47
Hi Endris... I want to give respond to your post..
In this sentence," Top felt desperate and want to follow his mother to live in China. Here, He is trying(was triying) to think about marketing strategy and He tried to open a new business that is fried seaweed{" Is triying" is not correct because it is happen in the past. So, you can use "was trying" to tell someone about event that happen in the past. Thank you. Please give your feedback in my post too.. :)
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